Better Late Than Never
by Autumn Knight
Summary: About an ex-newsgirl, her past, and second chances - a little cheesy maybe, but I'm proud of it. Please R&R!
1. Part 1

An old, black leather boot hesitantly stepped onto an even older wooden board that was splintered and weathered after years of being tread upon. The other boot soon followed, just as reluctantly. The boots were attached to a pair of stocking clad legs covered by a heavy floor-length dark gray skirt that swished with every step the boots took.  
  
The girl didn't turn around although it took all her willpower. She never had to leave anything before. Things had always left her.  
  
Am I about to make the worst mistake of my life? she wondered for the millionth time that day.  
  
She could almost feel a hand lightly touch her waist, begging her to come back. But it was just a desire and not his -- self-torture at its worse.  
  
A dark gray glove gripped a polished wooden seat back as she sat down on the hard seat and turned to the window. All she could see was his face. His hazel eyes, his brown hair that sometimes hung in chunky strands that framed his face…there was something endearing about the way his cheeks often seemed a little flushed. What attracted her most was the expression of apathy he often wore. It was hard to tell what he was thinking most of the time, and she wanted to know. Obviously to her, it wasn't that he didn't care about anything, but that he couldn't show it. She wanted to be the one he could confide in and the one to whom she could tell all her problems. Sighing, she closed her eyes and tried to sleep among the memories that whirled around her.  
  
A whistle blew, the train jolted to a start and her eyes fluttered open. With another sigh and the familiar pounding of her heart, she looked around. Everywhere around her people were escaping the crowded, dirty city just as she was. Either they were running away from something, or running toward something, or even a little bit of both, like her.  
  
Her eyes rested upon a mother, a father, an older boy and two younger girls that shared two rows near her and reminded her of a family she knew a long time ago.  
  
It wasn't that long ago, was it? she asked herself. But it was – she felt like a completely different person from the shy, naïve girl that worked for the Huntingtons. And yet there was a quiet, unrelenting anger that plagued her all those years. It burnt her from the outside as much as the inside until she finally broke free. 


	2. Part 2

"Dust all the bookshelves, then polish the silver, then…" Mrs. White's voice droned on and on. Autumn pretended to listen with a few well-placed nods. After working through the same routine year after year she knew exactly what was needed and when. It was a pointless existence. Breaking her back for someone else's sake was not what she – or anyone – needed. But she didn't know any better and she figured she was better off than others.  
  
For almost ten years, she was able to handle it. With her only determination being to live in spite what that rich family put her through, she mustered up the strength to open her tired eyes each morning, to drag her body out of her bed – a bed that she told herself to be thankful for – and to start another dreary day.  
  
But then things started to change. It was a gradual change, but those are the worst kind. Changes like that sneak up on you, and before you know it, you are agreeing to something you were once strong enough to oppose.  
  
She didn't notice his subtle, yet violating gaze at first. But soon it became something she was accustomed to, and by that time he had become bold enough to touch her. What happened next was something more painful than Autumn ever could've imagined existed. She screamed on the inside because her voice didn't matter anymore. She thought – she hoped she would die.  
  
I wasn't that lucky, she recalled with a shiver as his face, grinning maniacally just inches from hers haunted her mind. Instead of dying, he put her through that humiliating experience night after night in the dark, behind closed doors, pressed against him and her mattress, whispering evil nothings.  
  
Living in that posh mansion, across the street from Central Park, became less determined and more deteriorating. Autumn felt as if she would fall apart if it weren't for her skin holding her together. 


	3. Part 3

She still felt that way almost five years later as she sat there all alone on the train that would take her out of that city, away from those memories and many others.  
  
Think of better times, she told herself, but with a dejected sigh she realized that there weren't many that she could think of. She managed to crack a smile and forget what had made her so sad for a moment.  
  
It was the first day of a new life. She lived in a new place, with new people – friendlier people who were her age and of her class. They were newsies and they accepted Autumn from the first day she met them. Many of them became very close friends that Autumn was leaving behind.  
  
One in particular… she regretfully thought.  
  
She would never forget the moment she first saw him. It was a crowded room and one of her new friends led her through it to introduce her boyfriend. Soon Autumn found herself face to face with a tall boy – a very handsome boy whose face would remain burned into her memory.  
  
He smiled as Jolie introduced him as Jack Kelly. Autumn felt something inside of her that was new and almost scary, but also exhilarating. It was a feeling she continued to experience every time Jack smiled at her.  
  
I'll never see that smile again, she thought. But it was a bittersweet thought because she knew she could never be the person that he wanted to be with. And that smile hurt sometimes because she knew it wasn't just for her. She saw the grin that lit up his face whenever Jolie kissed him, or more recently, when he was with Sarah.  
  
But that's not why I'm leaving, she told herself. And it was true. She finally had a stroke of luck; a chance to get out of New York. She was actually going to pursue her dream of being a writer. It was thought impossible at many times, but somehow, perhaps from someone, Autumn finally got her break. It meant leaving the only place she ever knew and leaving her friends.  
  
It was something she'd worked very hard for, but wasn't sure that it would ever work out. She'd sold papers and spent longs night at the Duane Street Settlement House learning how to write. Not just writing letter and words that haphazardly formed sentences, but works of art.  
  
She smiled as she remembered the day when she heard the news. Sure, she may not have been prepared for it, but she was glad, deep down. It meant giving up another dream, but one that she knew was never meant to be.  
  
So she sat on the train, lost in memories, good and bad. A proud smile, a twisted grin. Rough lips, gentle lips. She frowned as she remembered the boy named Havoc and a tear stung at her eyelid. But then a smile graced her face as she thought of the only who could light up her face…and that made her cry when he was not around.  
  
She thought to that night. Midsummer nights always hold something magical - something that could drive even the sanest person crazy with love. On the rooftop, she wasn't sure exactly how they ended up there alone. 


	4. Part 4

With closed eyes, she leaned against the brick wall and let a cool summer breeze intertwine with her hair and her skin. It danced around her and left her tingly, somehow taking all her cares away with it.  
  
"Why are you smiling?" asked a curious voice. Autumn's eyes fluttered open, partly out of embarrassment and partly out of being startled. She hadn't realized she was smiling, and it was not something she was normally predisposed to when no one was around.  
  
"I don't know," she responded slowly. He grinned as if he knew a secret about her and she felt something inside melt. Alone – his attention focused solely on her for the first time, it was something she always hoped for. And now that moment was there, she was struggling for words.  
  
Autumn did the only thing she could do, the only thing his smile could allow her. She grinned back and he took a step towards her.  
  
"It's a nice night," he said, pushing his hair away from his face. She saw his eyes twinkle in the dark night as he smiled again.  
  
"Beautiful," Autumn murmured.  
  
Does he want to talk? she frantically thought.  
  
"So how was your day?" he asked.  
  
Getting better, she thought and smiled shyly.  
  
"Good," she said and meant it. "How was yours?"  
  
Autumn longed for that night again, to relive that moment and perhaps make it even better. Jack and her talked all night, sharing secrets they wouldn't dare tell anyone else. Autumn told Jack about Charles. Jack told her about his father. She confided her dreams of writing a novel one day. Jack shared his dream about going to Santa Fe. Before they knew it, their lips grazed each other. Autumn drew back slightly out of surprise, but found herself leaning forward again.  
  
"That was my first kiss," she confessed when it was over.  
  
"Really? Havoc doesn't kiss you?" he asked.  
  
"He does, but I've never kissed him back," she said.  
  
He smiled and looked up at the lightening sky. They both knew it was time to sneak into their bunks, but Autumn didn't want to go so soon. She wanted another kiss. It had felt so right, so comforting. Not at all like Havoc. She wanted to be wrapped up in Jack's arms. But she knew it was never meant to be. After they climbed down the fire escape and into their bunks they would go back their lives – Jack back to Sarah and Autumn back to Havoc. 


	5. Part 5

Autumn sighed once more as the train full of memories chugged onward. She thought of all the things she'd learned and how they might serve her in her life. The single most influential person had been Jolie, the French girl with emeralds for eyes and hair darker than midnight. She recalled the first time she met Jolie.  
  
~~~~~  
  
Just like every night, around eight o'clock, Autumn managed to slip away from her work without being noticed. She always walked around the same block and by the same buildings. She breathed in the air that was finally cooling off from the scorching sun and gazed up at the darkening sky.  
  
The stars set a dreamlike background as Autumn walked by her favorite building, a magnificent mansion, and for a moment all the other buildings melted into oblivion. All she could see was the house on top of a grassy hill, like a diamond among emeralds.  
  
She imagined that she lived there and instead of being the servant girl, she was the one being served. She'd always stand there for a few minutes until something on the street snatched her away from her reverie.  
  
"Hey! Girl!" a harsh voice yelled from the doorway.  
  
Autumn jumped and whipped her head around to see who would have yelled at her like that.  
  
Standing in the door stoop, a girl who looked about Autumn's age stared back at her. The girl crossed her arms in front of her, hiding what seemed like a rather revealing ruby red dress.  
  
"What are you looking at?" she demanded. Her long, raven colored curls bounced as she took a step forward. She closed the door behind her and with red high heels, she stepped delicately down the flight of six steps to where Autumn stood, with her mouth agape and blue eyes wide. She remembered trying to run, but feeling as if her feet were glued to the cobblestones. The girl didn't appear to be friendly as she approached Autumn.  
  
"What are you looking at?" the girl asked again when she was a few feet away from Autumn. She looked down her long, slender nose and critically peered at the other girl with piercing green eyes.  
  
"I…I don't know," Autumn barely whispered.  
  
"What? What did you say?" she asked, her face contorted into a confused expression as she crossed her arms again.  
  
Autumn merely shrugged and shook her head. She wanted to turn and run away, but somehow she couldn't.  
  
"Well, I see you here every night. I thought there might be reason. Maybe…you want to live here?" she asked, arching her eyebrows.  
  
Autumn shook her head vehemently. The girl frowned at Autumn as if she had just offended her somewhat.  
  
"I just like to walk by here," Autumn tried to explain. "You see…I work for a family. They live not far from here…and I guess I just like to get out of the house."  
  
She nodded. "I like to get out of the house, too," she said with a mischievous grin. "I'm Jolie, by the way." She laughed self-consciously. "I sort of…feel like I know you in a way."  
  
Autumn didn't know what to say. Not may people ever talked to her and expected her to reply, so she just smiled back.  
  
"Me, too," Autumn finally said. "Oh, and I'm…Autumn," she added.  
  
"Nice to meet you," she said and turned in the direction Autumn was headed. "Do you mind if I walk with you?"  
  
Autumn shook her head, although she had no idea why this strange girl would want to associate with her. They started walking back towards the house where Autumn lived.  
  
"So…what do you do?" Jolie asked. Autumn gave her a puzzled look.  
  
"For the family you work for, I mean," she clarified.  
  
"Oh," Autumn said and almost giggled nervously. "Well, I guess I just do whatever they tell me to. Or whatever Miss White tells me to do. She's the housekeeper."  
  
Jolie nodded.  
  
"It sounds nice. Do you like it?"  
  
Autumn gave her a puzzled look. She'd hit a sensitive spot and Autumn didn't know how to tell her. After all, Autumn felt obligated to like her job since she wasn't doing what Jolie had to and she wasn't sleeping on the streets. So, Autumn just smiled and nodded.  
  
"It must be nice," Jolie said with a far off look in her eyes. "To be around all those fine things all day."  
  
Autumn grimaced. It wasn't nice at all. She saw how the rich lived. It was wonderful, like a fairy tale at first glance. But they weren't any different from her, deep down. She always saw the nice things they owned and she knew she never would be able to have what they did. But she knew most people would just tell her to be grateful for what she did have. So she tried to.  
  
"It's very nice," Autumn lied and thought, no matter how much I try to be grateful, there will always be Charles.  
  
The two girls finally found themselves in front of the Huntington's grand mansion on Fifth Avenue.  
  
"Is this it?" Jolie asked when Autumn stopped.  
  
Autumn nodded and shrugged. She didn't want Jolie to be impressed, but knew she would be.  
  
"Wow," Jolie said breathlessly. "You live here? It's amazing. Absolutely incredible. The entrance…the balconies and pillars…" her voice trailed off as she gazed dreamily across the front lawn to the Queen Anne mansion.  
  
Autumn looked at the house. She'd never really seen it from behind the wrought iron gates. But, she had to admit, it did look rather impressive from the outside.  
  
Jolie stood for a few more minutes admiring the grounds. Autumn felt strange standing outside and wanted to go inside, but she didn't want to just leave Jolie there without being polite. She nervously twirled a strand of her wavy, long, ashy brown hair around her finger and cleared her throat. Jolie looked back at her, as if she'd forgotten Autumn was there.  
  
Jolie smiled bashfully.  
  
"Sorry," she said. "It was nice meeting you. I better be going now." She turned and started walking back to her house.  
  
"Maybe I'll see you again tomorrow night," she called over her shoulder.  
  
Autumn did see her the next night. They became quick friends as Autumn had to escape her work, Charles especially, more and more frequently. 


	6. Part 6

Whether that friendship was helpful or not, was another issue. But as much as Jolie had ruined Autumn's life, it had almost been made up for in the past year.  
  
The past year had been the best of Autumn's life. So many things had finally changed for the better, Autumn felt guilty about being bitter over the one thing that hadn't turned out the way she hoped.  
  
After years of feeling bitter and feeling she had a right to, it was definitely a strange feeling to have things going her way. She couldn't help wondering when things would come crashing down. It wasn't a question of if.  
  
Autumn gazed out the window, taking a slight reprieve from her thoughts. She knew she could never fully escape them but her mind slowed as she watched the scenery roll by. It was amazing how quickly the scenery changed in an hour. Autumn had never been outside of New York City before and it was so strange not seeing buildings everywhere.  
  
The change of scenery was thrilling. She'd always hoped to see someplace else. It made her feel more alive, more knowledgeable in a way. And it was beautiful. Never before had she seen rolling green hills that stretched all around her. It was so green. Nothing like Autumn imagined. Not at all like grays, reds and browns of the buildings that engulfed the city.  
  
She stared out the window, enthralled with the new scenery for what seemed like hours, but eventually it began to become boring, so she decided to read. She brought her favorite, Little Women. Whenever she read it, it was just like visiting old friends. Autumn allowed herself to get lost in the book and she always pretended that she was Jo, a talented writer with a loving family. In fact, the concept of a loving family would have been entirely lost on Autumn had it not been for that book. Her family, though it only ever existed for five years, was just herself and her mother. And Autumn couldn't even really remember her mother, although she knew it was because they were probably bad memories and not worth thinking about. After all, her mother had left her, and it wasn't something enjoyable to dwell upon. Because of her mother, Autumn had learned to support herself at the young age of five. It may have been different if her mother had died, but being abandoned was not something any child was ever prepared to deal with. Fortunately Autumn was not forced into an orphanage and the family her mother had worked for took her in as cheap labor.  
  
The train slowed down and soon stopped without Autumn even realizing it. Other people around stood up and gathered things and then it finally dawned on her – she was not in New York anymore. There was supposed to be someone waiting for her at the station that would take her to her dormitory.  
  
She looked around, and surprisingly felt quite at home. There were buildings all around her, just like in New York. But the buildings weren't the same ones in the same places she was used to seeing them in.  
  
"Miss Knight?" a middle-aged woman asked, curiously approaching Autumn.  
  
"Yes?" Autumn replied, looking around and wondering how whoever it was knew who she was.  
  
"Hello, dear, and welcome to Chicago," the woman said. "I'm Mrs. Smith."  
  
The name was familiar, Autumn thought, a bit relieved. She smiled at the woman who had a strange, but comforting presence.  
  
Autumn took a step forward, toward her future. 


	7. Part 7

A crowd cheered and applauded as Autumn struggled to wade through the bodies that were tightly packed in the small park.  
  
"Excuse me," a man's voice said. Autumn walked by; she did not care to be bothered by another male who only wanted argue about women's inferiority and incapability to vote responsibly.  
  
"Excuse me," the voice said again as Autumn felt a hand lightly grab her elbow. She whipped her head around to glare to the man.  
  
"I'll excuse you if you excuse me first," she said, quite irritated.  
  
"Autumn?" he asked. Autumn stiffened. She hadn't been called by that nickname in…she thought for a moment.  
  
Must be ten years. Funny how it seems like yesterday I was a newsgirl in New York City and what feels like a hundred years later I'm…here.  
  
She looked at the man and behind an unfamiliar face she saw deep blue eyes and curly brown hair that she remembered.  
  
"David?" she asked, with a gasp.  
  
David nodded and grinned at her.  
  
"I heard your speech," he said. "It was really remarkable."  
  
Autumn blushed. She still wasn't used to compliments but coming from David, she was quite flattered.  
  
"Thank you," she said, trying to keep her cheeks from blushing. "May I ask what you're doing in San Francisco?"  
  
David grinned and Autumn remembered how she always thought he had a nice smile. Although it didn't make her heart skip a beat like Jack's did.  
  
Jack…Autumn thought. She hadn't thought of him in years, but the same feeling she used to get returned.  
  
"Jack," David had said, but Autumn thought it was just her mind and she stood staring blankly off in space.  
  
"Autumn?" David asked.  
  
"Yes?" she replied.  
  
"Are you okay?"  
  
She nodded. "Sorry, I was just thinking about…New York and everything."  
  
"Yeah," he said as if knew exactly what she meant. "Hey, you should come with me and meet him. I'm sure he'd love to see you."  
  
"Who?" Autumn asked, sufficiently confused.  
  
David laughed. "Jack. I'm sure he'd love to see you again after all these years."  
  
Autumn's eyes grew wide. Did he say he was here to visit Jack? she thought.  
  
"Well, I'd love to see him too," Autumn said, in quite a bit of shock. She never thought she'd ever see any of her friends again when she boarded that train to Chicago and now she was going to see Jack, the person she expected to see least – the one that got away, one of the things in her life that never worked out according to plan. She remembered thinking she would never see his smile again…and now she was about to. All her old feelings came rushing back and she was glad she had skin that her insides together.  
  
"I'm on my way to meet him for lunch. I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you joined us," David was saying.  
  
"Ok," Autumn said, still lost in thoughts of Jack as she let David lead the way. They caught a trolley and then walked the rest of the way to a restaurant.  
  
"You really seem to know your way around here," Autumn commented even though the rest of her mind was in a dream like state. It had to be a dream after all, if she was really about see Jack again.  
  
"I come here a lot," David said. "But I still live in New York." He held the door to a restaurant open for her. As she walked in, she was overwhelmed by memories of lunches and dinners at Tibby's. She could almost hear the girls giggling, the little boys laughing and older boys playing poker or talking about the headline.  
  
"Wow," Autumn said looking around.  
  
"Just like Tibby's, huh?" David asked, looking around. "Ah, there he is!"  
  
Autumn followed David to a booth next to window, but she didn't manage to see him yet. David slid into the seat across from Jack and Autumn sat next to David.  
  
She was almost afraid to look up for a second and see how much he'd changed. She knew how much she'd changed. Ten years was a long time, it'd been over a third of her life.  
  
Autumn glanced up, that old nervous feeling returning. It was strange, she hadn't felt it since she last saw him. No other man ever made her feel that way.  
  
Surprisingly, Jack hadn't changed a whole lot. His hazel eyes looked just the same, although his hair seemed a bit darker, but still slicked back in the same way, and perhaps his eyebrows were a little thicker. His cheeks still had a hint of red on them but the red bandanna and cowboy hat were gone. The ratty old clothes also were gone and in their place was a nice dark gray suit.  
  
Jack smiled at Autumn when she finally made eye contact.  
  
The same smile, she gleefully thought. It was that smile that made everything better once, and at the same time almost ruined her. But that was all in the past, in New York. She was just so happy to see it again one more time.  
  
"Hi," he said breaking the silence that had crept up upon the three. Jack glanced questioningly at David. "Hi David," he added.  
  
Maybe he doesn't recognize me, Autumn thought, feeling slightly betrayed. 


End file.
